Marriage counseling can be a welcome respite in a situation where the relationship has hit rock bottom. In fact that is probably when most couples seek out a marriage counselor, just before it gets too late.
Of course a better approach would be to seek out a marriage counselor when your relationship runs into problems that you both are unable to resolve. Unfortunately in real life this is not the usual approach. Waiting and hoping that things work themselves out even if we clearly cannot are the usual way we go about resolving our marital problems.
Of course that is somewhat of a dumb idea but we are all guilty of it.
And even then, it seldom happens that both parties are in agreement on the necessity to seek counseling.
All of this of course only add to the frustration and exacerbate an already stressful situation.
So even if you are in the process of marriage counseling or seeking out counseling, maybe now is a good time to start to consider a different approach.
How about putting in a system to ensure that the next time a need arises that really should be dealt with by employing the services and skills of a marriage counselor you both know that time has come?
In fact, whether or not you are now having issues in your marriage that give rise to the necessity of a counselor, you really should seek to put this system in place.
How can you go about doing this?
Well, most counselors will have a free consultation or, even if it is not free, will charge just a minimal amount for a 30 minute session.
Take advantage of this initial consultation and explain what your objectives are. That is, you really want to have a mutual understanding in your marriage about when to seek help.
This mutual understanding will serve as a sort of trigger to getting marriage counseling. You will not only prevent an argument about when to get counseling but you will know when the lines have been crossed and when to bring in help.
And if you are into counseling already, then you are in an even better position to make this request of your counselor.
Marriage counseling is a great resource that can help you in resolving difficult issues in your marriage. But until you go, then the issues will most likely remain unresolved resulting in a deteriorating situation.
One way to avoid this is to set up some triggers so that you know before hand when the situation in your marriage calls for the involvement of a marriage counselor.